Pushing to see Positive Possibilities!

It is so difficult to see positive possibilities when all that is before your eyes are the complete opposite, still it is extremely beneficial when you do so.

As a young woman who has and sometimes still is battling a large amount self-esteem issues, I often face the challenge of embracing the fact that God has designed a great purpose for my life. A purpose that involves me motivating others to become the greatest and best them that they can be. While showing them that it’s ok to be themselves at all times while respecting the substance in others as well.

This battle affects me more than I would like to admit, being easily offended, consistently feeling as though I am being thrown into a competition that I never signed up for, always feeling like I don’t measure up and things of that nature. This poses a huge problem because it affects the way I live, lead, and socialize. It governs the way I mother my children, the type of wife that I am, the type of friend that I am, the type of sister and daughter that I am, it is a huge problem and though I have made great progress over this issue through my faith in God and in receiving His grace, I still have a ways to go.

I often times wonder if the dreams that I have for this great enterprise that will aid others in becoming empowered in multiple ways, create jobs for struggling parents and all these inventive stuff that I come up with daily are just the residue of illusions that I created for myself as a child; calling myself a Huxtable living in this illusion that I am this talented amazing girl that has this family that is successful and loves me greatly. Bill Cosby taking the place of my actual father because despite the short falls of his children they were still his and that was something I knew I would never have with my actual father. I mean I was really holding this as my truth sometimes to the point where I lied about this wonderful father (though he was invisible). Now I am a thirty years old adult and I am still adopting family calling Maya Angelou my auntie and Tyler Perry my uncle. Saying if they can overcome the odds so can I.

All that being said I know that I am growing and the source of that growth is God himself. I mean, though the life that I currently have is not what I want, I have hope because of Him. Knowing that the Creator of the world, the inventor of human kind, He who sent His son Jesus down to shed his blood for me, a small time broke girl from the ghetto of Brooklyn, the bottom of the bottom even in my family lineage I am beneath. Most of my dad’s family does not even know that I exist. But God still loves me.

This is what causes me to grow, that love, that unfailing unchanging love, that love that does not measure me by my limitations but His abilities which opens the door for my possibilities. So though it is very difficult to see positive possibilities when all that is before your eyes are negativity, I believe that I can through Gods love. I find rest on the chest of He who loves me best. So you can do the same !